Five dinner party lessons I learned as a host this year
By Kristen Garaffo | Published: 2025-10-25 10:00:00 | Source: Camille Styles
Ina Garten’s memoirs, Be prepared when luck happensIt changed my life completely. Ina’s outlook on life, filled with great dinner parties, good friends, and delicious food, inspired my 2025 New Year’s resolution to host loved ones once a month. I had never hosted a dinner party before January, but I was determined to constantly invite my friends over to share, celebrate, and deep chat over cocktails and cheese boards. The goal was to find any excuse to put down my phone and create a real connection. As the year comes to an end, I am very proud to say that I kept my promise to myself. I’ve hosted about a dozen cozy gatherings since January! I’ve had the pleasure of prioritizing my offline community, and I now have a slew of dinner party hosting lessons to take with me as we enter the holiday season.
Hosting season is often associated with Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, which, let’s be real, can add even more stress and anxiety. With all of my 2025 gatherings under my belt, I’m excited to share that hosting once a month has changed my perspective on holiday hosting. Here are some lessons that I will take with me to my dinner party in the final months of the year.
Hosting is a practice
As someone with perfectionist tendencies, I initially held myself back from hosting. I thought my house wasn’t big enough, that I wasn’t a good enough cook, and that my friends weren’t really interested in coming here anyway. Talk about hosting anxiety! All three of these things were wrong, but this mindset can prevent you from trying anything new, including hosting. Gathering is a practice.
The first time I invited my friends over for dinner, I was nervous. I wanted everything to go smoothly, but I had to remind myself that this was my first time. Naturally, I was a little nervous! Over time, the nerves dissipated and turned to excitement. I just needed some dinner parties to relax at
Gathering regularly has improved my self-confidence, tempered my perfectionism, and deepened my sense of community. Whether you’re hosting Thanksgiving for the first time, or for the hundredth time, remember to meet yourself where you are.
Your guests are everything
It’s not about what’s on the table, but who’s around it. Social media can make it seem like hosting is all about how pretty your tables are, how amazing your dishes are, or how amazing your cocktails are. I’ll be the first to admit that I am love The aesthetic parts of hosting – setting the table is my thing favorite. “But I always do my best to make the most important thing the most important thing — the guests. Hosting is about gathering and connecting with your loved ones. Make the gathering about keeping you and your friends comfortable, happy, and well-fed.”
I love having a welcome drink ready to go as soon as guests walk in the door. Set up appetizers on the table before guests arrive and clear signs about where to put their coats and shoes. Your mood as a host sets the tone, so make sure you take some time to relax before guests arrive. Sharing a space (and a meal!) creates connections that social media can’t replicate. Make sure to enjoy the company of your loved ones.
Start small
Dinner parties don’t have to be a big deal. Keeping things small creates more intimacy which may be preferable, especially if you are an introvert. The holiday hosting season can seem like bigger is better – there’s so much to do, see and plan! But if you’re a newbie host, or maybe you’re ready to slow down a bit, it’s best to start small. All of my gatherings this year were with four to six people at a time, which was perfect. But if large gatherings are your thing, give yourself permission to work towards it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Co-hosting has been an amazing gift for me this year. Setting out on my own was a bit scary, especially at the beginning of my hosting adventures. But planning a party with a friend takes some of the pressure off. Plus, it can be more fun! If you have an idea for a dinner party, but don’t want to plan it yourself, consider asking a friend to co-host it. This way, you’ll have someone to bounce ideas off of, plus you can split the costs and workload. The same goes for holiday hosting! Co-hosting a friends get-together or holiday gathering sounds like a lot of fun.
Use what you have
It’s been a lot of fun building my arsenal of hosting supplies this year – my plates and utensils are a mix of estate sale finds, family heirlooms, and brand new items. Although it’s tempting to fully indulge in themed dinners and decor – having a basic set of supplies is key. I live in a townhouse with little storage space, so keeping things simple has been cost effective and stress-reducing. If you have the budget and space for themed supplies (that will bring you joy!) by all means go for it! But I’ve found that using what I’ve made has made my assemblies simple, easy to assemble, and convenient at the same time.
In general, hosting doesn’t really have a season — gathering with loved ones offline or in person can (and should!) happen year-round. Whether you’re inviting some friends over for coffee, or you’re ready to plan a 5-course meal, consider this your sign to gather with your friends and family!
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