A Delta flight attendant just taught a master class in empathy
By Justin Bariso | Published: 2025-10-29 10:46:00 | Source: Inc.com
Picture the scene: Your plane landed late. You barely have enough time to catch your flight, but first you have to convince other passengers to let you get off before them.
good luck.
But recently, a Delta Air Lines flight attendant flipped the script, according to Katherine Peters. Peters, one of the founders consulting company Withiii Leadership, She says a recent flight taught her one of the best real-life lessons she’s ever seen in “generating instant connection.”
After confirming that the plane arrived late, the flight attendant asked the passengers to raise their hands if they were ending their journey in Salt Lake City, the flight’s destination. He continued after most of the hands in the booth had gone up.
“Now, everyone who raises your hands: Imagine the anxiety you would feel if you had to catch another flight tonight and weren’t sure you’d make it. Put your hands down. Now, those of you calling San Francisco, Palm Springs, and Denver, raise yourselves!”
“Everyone, look around,” the hostess asked. “These are the people who will be rushing out of the plane tonight as soon as we land.” Look at them, and imagine that’s you
The flight attendant then appealed to everyone in the cabin who did not have a connecting flight to remain seated and give other passengers space to exit as quickly as possible.
“If we all play our part, they can do it,” the flight attendant said. “Thank you very much for your interest and help. Every one of these guys appreciates you for that
The energy in the cabin has completely changed, Peters said.
“Suddenly everyone was involved in the same mission.” Peters wrote in a post on LinkedIn. “We all knew who the people needed to hustle right now. And we were all with them, feeling the adrenaline in our veins.”
When the plane landed, only the connecting passengers were standing, Peters says. Others helped them carry their bags. After that, the remaining passengers patiently got up, grabbed their things, and walked out quietly.
“The whole plane was cheering them on,” Peters said.
What this flight attendant was great at was motivating others to resist the urge to act in their own best interests, and to offer help instead. It is a case study in emotional intelligence, which includes the ability to empathize with others and build connection.
Why did the hostess technique work so well? How can you use this lesson to help you become a better leader? To answer these questions, let’s take a closer look at the quality of empathy. (Register here For my free email course on emotional intelligence.)
The three types of empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the thoughts and feelings of others. But according to psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman, There are actually three types of empathy:
Cognitive empathy: The ability to understand the thoughts and feelings of another person
Emotional empathy: Being able to actually share or relate to those feelings
Compassionate sympathy (or empathic concern): The ability to take action to try to show empathy
Interestingly, while we all want others to show compassion to us, we often fail to show it to others.
There are several reasons for this, but they boil down to the fact that showing empathy is difficult. The first two types, cognitive and emotional, consume mental energy. The third type, compassionate empathy, also requires physical energy.
But the flight attendant was able to inspire passengers to practice all three types of empathy, by gently guiding everyone through the process, as each one built on the other.
After identifying who can help, help them practice cognitive empathy by having them imagine the worry They did it I feel if they are the ones trying to catch another flight. Then help them build connection through emotional empathy, by pointing out who was on board in that exact situation and asking them to imagine it was them.
Finally, motivate them to take action, by encouraging positive peer pressure and inspiring the group to work together. This was no longer a separate group of people, but a team with one mission: to get these passengers to their connecting flights.
How can you use these lessons in your workplace?
If you’re a leader, find ways to help your employees practice all three types of empathy. Identify who is in a position to help and who needs help. Then use questions and phrases similar to those of the host.
For example:
- How would you feel if…?
- Imagine this is you…
- How can you help?
- If we all play our part…
- thank you for your help.
Also remember to gently guide everyone through the process, step by step. Because empathy takes time and effort, and that’s a difficult journey to ask of others.
But if you use Principles of emotional intelligence Like that host, she will inspire people not just to feel empathy, but to act on it.
The opinions expressed by Inc.com columnists here are their own, not those of Inc.com.
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