If you want to be a better boss, science says stop serving feedback sandwiches
By Jeff Haden | Published: 2025-10-31 12:50:00 | Source: Inc.com
I’ve learned to use what’s called a “feedback sandwich” to provide constructive feedback: lead with positivity, engage with negativity, and end with positive. The idea was… well, I don’t know what the idea was. I guess it’s to soften the blow of “room for improvement”?
All I know is that the feedback sandwich rarely works.
Especially Ali.
Take the time a manager said to me: “I really appreciate how you are always prepared for supervisor meetings. But sometimes you run over people with all your facts, figures, and productivity results. And yet, you are a valuable member of the team.”
The meat of the sandwich, “You sometimes run people over with facts and figures,” was undoubtedly true.
But the bread, the positives, did not soften the blow. In fact, baking made me feel manipulated. And it kind of pissed me off.
That’s because the sandwich is actually saying: “I want to give you negative feedback…but first I’m going to say something nice so you don’t think I hate you.” And then I’ll say something nice so you won’t be mad at me when you leave
This is the feedback sandwich problem. Recipients feel they are being manipulated.
And even if they don’t at first, give them time: Since our positive qualities tend to remain constant, the same bread eventually begins to taste better.
As for the possibility of positive change? According to Research published in Learning and motivationthe feedback sandwich almost always fails to correct negative or substandard behaviors only because – as in my case – I focused more on how the feedback was delivered, rather than on the quality and accuracy of the feedback itself.
The best approach is what The authors of the study published in Quarterly management review Call for honesty and goodness.
We suggest that a better approach is benevolent honesty, where communicators focus on communicating negative information truthfully and directly, but also use additional strategies to ensure that their words actually lead to long-term improvement.
For example, a professor may emphasize that a student is capable of achieving high standards when providing critical feedback. Although this strategy may seem intuitive, communicators often fail to make their charitable intentions clear — and seem to forget (at least for the time being) that (others) don’t have access to the same information.
Their findings agree well with A COur book of experimental psychology He studies This shows that including one sentence can make feedback up to 40 percent more effective: “I’m giving you this feedback because I have very high expectations and I know you can reach them.”
According to Culture code Author Daniel Coyle, this phrase contains three distinct references:
- You are part of this group.
- This group is special; We have higher standards here.
- I think you can reach those standards.
Instead of a feedback sandwich, the result is more like a relationship sandwich
No manipulation. No vulgarity. Not irrelevant compliments. No false hope
Just clear, direct feedback, delivered within a message of connection, belonging and trust.
This is the real difference between a feedback sandwich and charitable honesty.
The feedback sandwich in theory helps the feedback giver reduce the potential for conflict during a difficult conversation. (“If you give him some praise, maybe he won’t get angry.”)
But how difficult the conversation is for the person providing feedback, it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is whether the feedback helps the recipient improve their performance
This is a terrible thing in sandwich feedback production.
Next time you need to have a difficult conversation with an employee, or anyone, forget the feedback sandwich. Forget the introduction and close with a compliment.
Instead, be direct and honest, showing that you care about that person’s performance or well-being because you care about them. they: That you want things to be better for them as a result of the conversation.
Not just to make it easier for you.
The opinions expressed by Inc.com columnists here are their own, not those of Inc.com.
(Tags for translation)Boss
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