What’s the hot hamster wheel for girls – and how to get off it
By Langa Chinyoka | Published: 2025-10-20 10:00:00 | Source: Camille Styles
I’ve always had high standards for myself. In my life, in my relationships, and even in my beauty and wellness rituals. “I want to maximize every moment of my life — and if you’re reading this, maybe you can understand that. For most of my life, I’ve had to work on letting go of the shame of being ‘too intense’ or ‘too ambitious’ that many women experience. But over time, I’ve come to realize that there’s a fine line between holding yourself to high standards and holding yourself hostage to perfection.
But here’s the thing: When you’re in the habit of chasing perfection, it’s easy to start chasing approval, too. Navigating social expectations and cultural landmarks can make you reconsider yourself—what you want, who you are, and whether you’re doing “enough.” You may be too busy trying to reach the level you have reached He should You may end up on a hamster wheel, endlessly trying to catch up. And there’s no hamster wheel more seductive than the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel: the collection of beauty codes and wellness rituals that we inherit through trends and traditions. It’s only when you step away from the place that you start to notice what you’re really feeling You– and what is just distraction disguised as self-improvement.
The image above is from our interview with Simon Boyce
What is the “hot girl hamster wheel”?
The term “Hot Girl Hamster Wheel” was coined by Katie Gatti Tassin, also known as Money with KatieOn her Podcast And recently in her new book, Rich girl nation. But what is the hot girl hamster wheel? According to Tassin, “the expensive maintenance is what traditional feminine beauty ideals recommend: haircuts, manicures/pedicures, spray tans… the list goes on.” It’s a hamster wheel because of the amount of maintenance that goes into our beauty routine. (This can feel more like obligations than rituals.) Naturally, the older we get, the more pressure we feel to make an effort to look 25 forever.
As a financial expert, Tassin approaches this topic by asking why no one is talking about how to do it beloved It is to be a woman. The average woman spends more than… $3000 per year On beauty, some of us are much more if you take into account health treatments and spa procedures. But beyond the dollar amount, there’s another cost to the obligatory Hot Girl Hamster Wheel: your authentic inner radiance.
The true cost of beauty
Tassin admits that for many of us, beauty is associated not only with self-expression, but also with self-care. But at what point does it go from a healthy way to show up in the world to an exhausting effort to meet other people’s expectations?
When we step off the hamster wheel, we can reconnect with what makes us feel like ourselves—and let go of what makes us feel like someone else.
Below, we explain how the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel can subtly shape your routine—and how to reclaim your beauty rituals with intention and ease.
Are you on the hot girl hamster wheel?
Do you remember what it was like to be a sexy beauty? From the beginning of middle school to bright lip gloss and even the brightest eye shadow to experimenting with products in early adulthood, I remember how joyful it felt to play dress up and find joy in my face. It seemed like a canvas to be explored, until, somehow, my face didn’t start to feel like a hassle to pluck, peel, and paint into submission.
The worst part of it all? You succeeded. I became addicted to the feeling of external validation I got from performing beauty as I saw it advertised in magazines and on social media. Suddenly, my routine started to feel like an obligation, rather than an adventure.
According to Tassin, the hamster wheel sneaks up on you through maintenance — because, as she puts it, “every treatment, service, and product must be maintained.” Like endless streaming subscriptions, you often don’t realize how much time, effort and money you spend keeping up appearances until you stop and ask a simple question: Why?
If you’re feeling like you’re on a ride you can’t get off — and your beauty rituals are leaving you more drained than fulfilled — you might be on the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel. Most of us end up there at some point. As a beauty editor, I’m always balancing my love of beauty and wellness with the fragility of perfection.
But what if every step of your beauty routine felt devotional rather than a sense of duty? What if you freed up that time, money, and mental space for what actually brings you happiness? When I focus on what feels good instead of what is praiseworthy, I find the courage to let go of the wheel of validation and return to myself.
How to get off the hot girls hamster wheel
Calculate the costs
For Tassin, getting off the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel started with a financial incentive. She realized that she was spending more than 10% of her annual income on maintenance of expensive cosmetics. Even more disturbing was that she realized that she often used cosmetic procedures as a way to calm herself down. She booked a wax, hair and manicure treatment whenever she felt down – and always found she looked less fulfilled.
“Maybe the creeping costs of your beauty routine alarm you, too—or maybe the result is more emotional. My wake-up call came when I realized that my beauty care had become a substitute for true rest. I was seeking a reset from my monthly facials and a moment of calm in my manicures. But when I started finding those feelings in true wellness rituals, I saw how much I was clinging to comfort and habit.”
For you, the cost may be time, effort, or decision fatigue. Often times, we pile on more products and practices without being truly intentional about what we have Why. Lack of intentionality is at the core of most internal dissonance.
Restore your routine
What happens if you cancel your maintenance appointments for the following month? Taking your beauty ritual back to the bare minimum — from a minimalist skincare routine to a makeup-free (or no-makeup) product kit?
It’s not about becoming a beauty fan if you don’t want to. Going back to basics gives you a complete reset. It also helps you confront any remaining fears about not being more grounded. It may be uncomfortable at first, like diving into cold water, but you’ll be surprised at how energized you’ll feel afterward.
Don’t be shy about non-negotiables
“There are certain things you might not want to give up — rituals that seem essential to expressing yourself or that you’ve refined over years of practice. When I ditched manicures and pedicures, I realized I didn’t need them monthly; saving them for the occasional treatment made them feel more luxurious. But any time I tried to do less with my hair, I ended up frustrated and, frankly, barely recognized myself in the mirror.”
My monthly hair appointments stay. The same goes for my elaborate skincare routine. Knowing what’s non-negotiable helps me appreciate the rituals that make me feel like myself, and the rituals that are good to have.
Reintroduce the things you miss
Just like personal style, having your own beauty kit helps you define your signature look. Ask yourself: What routines make your soul sing? What products do your hands instinctively reach for? What appointments are you missing that you secretly add to your calendar?
Some people feel naked without a red lip. I used to consider mascara a must-have — until I realized that curling my lashes was enough for me (although others might consider that sacrilege). On the other hand, discovering that I could never give up an under-eye firming treatment made me appreciate it even more. I used to worry it was “too much” and saved it for special occasions, but now it’s one of my favorite parts of my daily ritual.
When every step of your routine is coordinated in order You– Not for anyone else – The fear of spending an hour doing your makeup disappears. It becomes a ritual, not an obligation.
Give yourself permission to evolve
Tasin He said it best: “(My beauty habits) were petrified in my self-esteem. I had to cut out a lot more than just dollars and cents in order to deconstruct my financial beauty decisions.”
Often times, our beauty rituals become the armor we wear to feel safe as we navigate through the world. And they’re not just about vanity –Beautiful privilege Real, along with the racial, age, and class expectations that shape our definition of beauty. Getting off the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel can bring up complex feelings that are deeper than whether or not you get rid of your lip liner.
Don’t ignore those feelings. Write it down. Sit with them. This reflection is part of revealing your personality Why-And create space for your intuition to guide your rituals, leading you toward your most authentic, radiant self.
Most importantly, give yourself permission to grow. “You may not change a single thing in your beauty habits, or you may allow them to change with the seasons of your life — like intuitive eating or dopamine-fueled dressing. What matters is that you lead with intention. Because true brilliance doesn’t come from perfection — it comes from alignment.”
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